


asagao academy drabbles: dumb stupid edition

by cheapsushi



Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club
Genre: (im working on out of the loop i swear), Angst, Cuddling, Drabbles, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, More tags to be added, Multi Chapter, One-Shots, PBG salt, Platonic Relationships, Televoid!Ian, Texting, Tumblr Prompts, bruh why am i still stuck on asagao, dumb stupid, soulmate aus, this is a trainwreck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2019-10-29 12:36:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17808074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheapsushi/pseuds/cheapsushi
Summary: this game isn’t dead yet i’m bringing it back myselffound a lot of these dialogue prompts on this blessing of a blog: https://saltier-than-a-pbg-in-the-ocean.tumblr.com/don’t expect too much out of these i’m tired okay





	1. spacebutter: “you think this shit is simple?”

**Author's Note:**

> hheck hello this is a mess
> 
> so yeah i’ll be posting drabbles/one-shots that i’m not confident enough to have them posted on their own haha

Caddy just wanted a normal day. Just _one_ , singular day of normality- that’s all he wanted, for crying out loud!

Jeff texting him about an emergency was... admittedly pretty far from normal, but not completely unpredictable.

What the emergency was, however, was probably as about as far from normal as you could’ve gotten.

[Fabre] 4:37 - Dude come to the pet shop in town it’s kind of an emergency

[Fabre] 4:37 - We need your help

[Caddick] 4:37 - ??????Um why is everything okay

[Caddick] 4:38 - And whos we

[Fabre] 4:38 - Me and austin

[Fabre] 4:38 - We need your skills

[Caddick] 4:39 - ... okay what the hell is going on

[Fabre] 4:39 - Here let me jshut zcxxayyo

[Fabre] 4:40 - sorry my hands were full

[Caddick] 4:40 - Please dont tell me your having a fucking seizure

[Fabre] 4:40 - *you’re

[Fabre] 4:41 - No it’s fine just let me call you

[Caddick] 4:41 - Okay???

 

Immediately after receiving Caddy’s last text, Jeff tapped the icon by his name, starting to call.

“Is he coming over?” Austin huffed out with some difficulty. He stood by Jeff’s side, two heavy-looking bags and a cardboard box in his arms.

“I don’t know, I’m putting him on speaker,” Jeff replied, taking the bags from his boyfriend. A second later, Caddy picked up.

 _“So, what in God’s name is this ‘emergency’ you’re so flustered about?”_ You could practically _feel_ the hesitant confusion in his voice, like he was legitimately afraid to know what was up.

“Well, uh,” Jeff looked to Austin for support, only to be met with a slight head shake and a halfhearted shrug. “Austin and I, um...” He trailed off, already feeling embarrassed about this whole thing.

_“Jeff? You in there? Oh my God, please don’t tell me you fractured someone’s rib again.”_

Vivid flashbacks of a Hidden Block outing, sub sandwiches, and knife tricks filtered into Jeff’s head. He shuddered. “No, it’s not that serious, we just... kind-of sorta need you to help us smuggle a hamster into our dorm.”

_"Oh goddamnit."_

“We’re sorry!” Austin chirped in, only slightly apologetic. “We just saw this little guy in the back and he was so cute with his little stripes and he had these big eyes so obviously we couldn’t _not_ get him!”

Jeff nodded, fully aware of the fact that Caddy couldn’t hear nods on the other side of the phone. “And we know you smuggled Slaughter and Salvage into the school, so-“

 _“Wait,”_ Caddy interrupted with a sharp inhale. He let it out with a long, drawn out sigh. _"You think this shit is **simple**? No, no, no- there’s a whole art _ _to smuggling. It took several years for me to master, and I’m not risking getting expelled again for your stupid rodent.”_

“Hey! Pecan is _not_ a stupid rodent!” Austin glared at the cell in disgusted shock, covering the sides of the box with his hands as if it were the ears of an innocent child.

 _“You two have already **named** the thing?! We aren't even allowed to keep pets here! Think things through!"_ Caddy groaned on the other side of the phone. _“You know what- no. Forget it. Just return it. I’m not helping you whatsoever. Case closed. Good luck.”_

 

An hour later, Caddy found himself letting an (admittedly) adorable hamster scamper around in his hands, watching as his roommate and Austin set up a cage by Jeff’s bed. “How the hell did you two manage to rope me into this again?”

Jeff snickered. “Doesn’t matter, but you’re an uncle now.”


	2. flowertown: “why are you stealing my clothes?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hana wants to feel a little ‘lukewarm’ on this cold day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god this is really self indulgent im sorry
> 
> wrote this in .02 minutes help

Whiffs of snow filtered outside Luke’s window, the gentle breeze serenading them into a dance. It was a Saturday evening, a time meant to be filled with warm and content happiness.

Well, maybe not _warm_ , exactly. For Hana, at least. 

“Why are you stealing my clothes?” Luke shifted his view from his position on his bed. His shivering girlfriend slipped on his club jacket by the door from where it hung before. “That’s not exactly _your_  jacket, y’know.”

“It’s freaking _freezing,_ Luke,” She glared at him affectionately, a small smile layered under her furrowed brows. “How are you surviving in just a t-shirt?”

He couldn’t help but snicker at her. “What can I say? I’m a natural hottie.”

Hana groaned, crossing her arms together.

“C’mere, I’ll warm you up,” Luke patted a spot next to him on his bed, and she took it gratefully. He pulled her down with a giggle, the two of them laying on their sides. She snuggled into his chest, and he wrapped an arm around her waist, tugging her even closer.

“You are so _cute,_ babe,” Luke punctuated each word with a kiss, Hana chuckling into each one.

She tangled her short legs with his longer legs under the covers. “You’re pretty cute yourself, I guess.”

“You still cold, or can I finally kick you out now?”

“Hmm,” Hana pinched her face up in thought, and she shook her head the best she could while still laying on her side. “I don’t think so, my face is still pretty frozen.”

A smile lit up Luke’s face, and he couldn’t help but kiss her more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heck it’s snowing at my place, and i was really craving some fluff so i wrote this haha
> 
> ive got a few more ideas to write out, but you can request something if you want :)
> 
> hope you enjoyed!


	3. brutaltown: “sometimes i feel like i’m tearing myself apart and i can’t stop.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ian has some trouble sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angsty boyos

He lied awake, staring at the wall.

This wasn’t a new occurrence.

He couldn’t fall asleep. He couldn’t go back there.

Because what if he couldn’t get out again?

Ian tossed and turned, not even caring if he woke up Luke at this point in the night.

Okay, that was a lie. He cared. But Luke cared more.

God, he cared too much. Stupid Luke and his stupid hat and his stupid everything. He needed to stop. He was so overwhelming and irritating with his stupid questions: ‘oh, Ian, how are you doing today?’ and ‘you look tired, want to lay down with me?’ Ian got it, his boyfriend cared about him. He was stupid for caring.

Stupid stupid stupid stupid _stupid_.

Stupid voice. Stupid smile. Stupid laugh.

Stupid face. Stupid kisses.

 

Stupid comfort.

 

Ian let his shoulders relax, eyelids drooping.

Luke’s stupidity was just plain gorgeous.

...maybe Ian could just close his eyes. Only closing them. For five minutes. No more, no less.

He let out a sigh, and almost instantaneously familiar static crashed over him.

“ _Shit!_ “ Ian cried out, jolting himself out of his moment of rest. He sat up, breathing heavily.

“Ian?” Luke called out sleepily. He shifted from his side, turning on his lamp. His boyfriend sat in his bed, clutching onto his hair for dear life.

“Oh my god, Ian, are you okay?” Luke got up in a split second, moving to sit on Ian’s bed. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders, Ian shaking in his hold. Luke pressed a kiss to his hair. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Hot tears brimmed at Ian’s eyes, threatening to fall. “God, L-Luke, I’m going fucking insane,” Ian blubbered out, not even caring about the fact that Luke was being stupid. “I’m so fucking done, I-I just can’t-“

Tears spilled out of his face involuntarily, Luke’s heart breaking a little more with each one. He hushed him. “Shh, it’s okay, I’m right here. Take your time.” Luke took hold of Ian’s hands, moving a little closer to him on the bed. “It’s going to be okay.”

Ian relaxed marginally, leaning into Luke’s neck. “I don’t know w-what’s wrong with me- I’m just so tired and I _can’t_ anymore,” Luke brushed away his tears, stroking his hair gently. “Just, sometimes I feel like I’m tearing myself apart and I can’t _stop_.”

Luke hummed sorrowfully. “I’m so sorry. Babe, I’m really so sorry you have to go through this. I wish there was something more I could do,” He pressed a kiss to Ian’s temple, Ian’s breath almost at a normal pace now. “Just please know that I’ll be right here. You’re not alone, I promise.”

Ian sighed, his eyes feeling heavier than ever before. Luke gave him a sympathetic smile. “Want to lay down for a bit?”

Ian turned to his boyfriend. A ghost of a smile hid in his nod.

They pulled the blankets over top of them in Ian’s bed, Luke brushing kisses onto Ian’s tired face for as long as it took for him to fall asleep.

For the first time in a long time, Ian slept trouble free.


	4. hanamai: “you must be my soulmate!”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hana finds her soulmate upon transferring to asagao academy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first time writing hanamai, feedback is appreciated :)

Twelve minutes, thirty-one seconds. The amount of time between Hana and her soulmate.

She had just gotten off the train, a sea of students in front of her: a whole new school, unfamiliar campus and even more unfamiliar faces...

How would she find her soulmate in _this_ mess?

Hana checked her timer again: nine minutes, forty-nine seconds. Her heart drummed in her chest, millions of questions buzzing in her mind.

What if her soulmate was a serial killer or something? What if the two of them didn’t get along? What if her soulmate _hated_ her?

Hana took a deep breath to steady her pulse; she was being ridiculous. Her father had reassured her the night before, telling Hana about how him and her mother met twenty years ago. He told of how they stuck together and supported each other unconditionally, and how Hana’s soulmate would do the same.

Three minutes, fifty-seven seconds.

Her black shoes clicked across the pavement, the mocha colored brick academy looming over in the distance. Groups formed in the common area, people holding hands and catching up with tales from the summer. Hana placed herself into a crowd of equally-nervous students, shoulders bumping together and heads blocking her view.

Sixteen seconds. Hana tried to push herself through the crowd, excitement getting the best of her. She shoved unsuspecting victims out of the way, parting the sea like some religious figure, all the way to the other side-

She stared straight ahead. Her timer stopped.

And there she was.

A tanned, red haired girl stood mere feet away from her. The stranger- her soulmate- blinked for a moment.

A huge grin of realization plastered itself onto her cheeks, face lit like a match.

“Ohh, you must be my _soulmate_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha i swear im working on out of the loop, im just kind of swamped with school right now. maybe in the next 2-3 weeks ill post a new chapter? idk tbh


	5. didyouknowbuttergaming: “care to elaborate?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shane dwells on some unwelcome memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eek this hasn’t been updated in a while 
> 
> also shane/austin is really good and y’all are sleeping on this

Shane tried too hard to make an effort in not dwelling in the past, or at least not showing that he did. It just... never could fit into his life again. To prevent it from happening, he had a scheduled pattern he _always_ , without failure, followed to a ‘T’.

Wake up, eat breakfast, work, eat lunch, work some more, eat dinner, relax, and sleep. Put it on repeat and let it play over and over.

Repetition was Shane’s way to a simple, calm, successful life, and Austin knew this.

Austin just had no clue that maybe, just _maybe_ , nothing was truly permanent. Even for Shane.

Austin had just gotten back from a quick run to the grocery store and didn’t even make it one step into the kitchen before he noticed something was different.

The pantry door was left wide open.

Didn’t sound like that big of a deal, sure, but if Shane was already up and at it, he definitely would have closed it. He was too punctual _not_ to!

“Uh, Shane?” Austin called for his boyfriend, waiting for a response.

A quiet, annoyed-sounding grumble echoed from the living room.

“I’m back, are you-“ Austin crept cautiously into the aforementioned room, stopping just barely in the passageway. “Oh.”

There he was, surrounded by a seemingly innumerable amount of pillows piled high around him. Shane was pressed against the couch on the carpet, legs splayed out in front of him. A blanket was draped around his shoulders, like some sort of half-assed royal cape.

Austin stood wordlessly, absolutely in puzzled shock.

Shane flicked his eyes up to his bewildered partner for a moment before shoving his hand into the Costco-sized bucket of almonds in his lap. “Hi.”

The Brit looked completely exhausted, hair a mess and eyelids drooping. He tossed a few almonds into his mouth.

“Did you know that there’s cyanide in almonds?” Shane mumbled around the snack. “‘Cause I did.”

“Uh,” Austin took off his rain jacket, tossing it to the chair at his side. He missed. “Care to explain?”

“Nah.”

Austin waited for Shane’s reaction on the jacket. He didn’t even bat an eye.

Picking up his black coat and finally putting it where it belonged, he posed a question. “You’re usually so... professional. What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’s wrong,” Shane huffed out exasperatedly. “Can’t a guy just eat almonds for breakfast in peace? Jesus, Austin!”

He shoved more almonds into his mouth, throwing one at Austin as he did so.

“Are you tired?” Austin crossed the carpet to sit on the floor beside Shane, pushing away some pillows. Shane whined.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Well, yeah,” the taller boy nodded. “You don’t need to be up yet, it’s only eight.”

“My internal clock tells me otherwise, and he’s a fucking dick.”

Austin furrowed his brows in the audible silence that filled the next few moments.

There could really only be _one_ reason Shane was like this... but could he bring it up? Wouldn’t it only make things worse..?

“Are you thinking about... her, again?”

The sad blob on the rug hesitated, then shook his head no.

That obviously meant yes.

Austin sighed solemnly. “Shane, you know you can talk to me about this. It’s...” He opted to think about what to say, seeing the guilty look on the Brit’s face.

“It’s okay. What happened to you, it’s not going to happen again. I promise,” Austin put a hand on Shane’s shoulder, who leaned into the touch. “Besides, you have me!”

Shane’s head turned to face him, quirking a brow. “Yeah, and?”

“I’ll protect you! No matter what, you’ve got me at your side- whether you like it or not!” Austin flashed him a grin and a thumbs up, wrapping an arm around Shane’s shoulder and pulling him closer.

He chuckled to no one in particular. “That’s cute.”

Nestled in his boyfriend’s arms, the taller one reaching for the TV remote and chattering about some show he wanted to watch, Shane smiled in what could only have been acceptance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof not really satisfied with this but i promised myself i wouldn’t spend more time on this hecking thing-


	6. flowerjom: “i hope you know this’ll haunt me.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jimmy has a habit of sending hana weird texts in the middle of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have i mentioned,,,,, how much i love jimmy,,,
> 
> guys.,, i love. jimmy

To be fair, Hana should have expected this.

Jimmy had this… _habit_ of sending outrageous and in some cases borderline ominous texts in the dead hours of the night.

But this one…

This one was a little bit _too_ much for Hana to handle.

[jom] 1:47 - why was i cursed with all of the dummy and none of the thicc

Hana dropped her pen to the packet below her- homework could wait, this was her top priority now.

[hna] 1:47 - I hope you know this’ll haunt me.

She didn’t get an immediate response, but soon enough-

[jom] 1:49 - JSJSDJJXXNNX

[jom] 1:49 - U WERENT SUPPOSED TO BE UP

[jom] 1:49 - WHY ARE U UP

[hna] 1:50 - Homework.

[hna] 1:50 - ...why are *you* up?

[jom] 1:51 - no reason

[jom] 1:51 - ……sundew gully……….

[jom] 1:51 - i really am just all dummy and no thicc. failing on getting emo ass rn :c he wont come out of his fuckinf room i stg im gonna cry

Hana shook her head with a sigh.

[hna] 1:52 - Sounds like you need to go to bed.

[jom] 1:52 - no u

[jom] 1:52 - HOLD ON HES MOVING AROUND

[jom] 1:53 - never mind…… he just went to his computer :c

Hana snorted. Ridiculous.

[hna] 1:53 - Why don’t you try for someone else? You’ve married Sebastian in, what- four saves now?

[jom] 1:54 - wallid told me that too but… i cant turn him down, hna. hes just.   Stupid

[hna] 1:54 - Elliot’s cute. Go for him this time.

[jom] 1:55 - and betray my perfect one true love for that lobster??????? despicable of u to even suggest that

[hna] 1:55 - You were just saying that he was stupid, though..?

[jom] 1:55 - hes dummy like me……. but hes also got the thicc B)

[hna] 1:55 - ...

[hna] 1:55 - Okay, well, I’m going to go and finish my homework. Have fun, I guess.

[jom] 1:56 - i will B)

[jom] 1:57 - ….also can i copy ur hw tomorrow

[hna] 1:57 - No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> frickin nerds. get yourself a friendship like theirs.


	7. spaceflower: “don’t worry, i’ve got you!”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> roller skating with your crush wasn’t exactly an ideal activity for someone like hana mizuno.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was just. really self indulgent im sorry kinda. ill write better stuff later i promise

Roller skating wasn’t exactly an ideal activity for someone like Hana Mizuno. Throw her crush into the mix, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for _disaster._

Hana didn’t even know how she got roped into this- one minute, everything was fine. Sitting on the sidelines with Ian and watching as the rest of Hidden Block fell on their faces every so often was good enough for her. 

The next minute, Jeff had rolled over (literally), yanked her from the bench, and practically _shoved_ the girl into the rink. 

“Jeff, I-I- I don’t know about this! I _really_ don’t know what I’m doing-!” 

The boy laughed it off, leaving her stammers ignored. “Oh, c’mon, Mizuno! Live a little! It’s a piece of pie once you get the hang of it.”

“I think the saying is ‘a piece of cake’, but-”

Her words were cut short at the feeling of his hands on hers. Hana blushed crimson, not knowing exactly where to look. She settled on watching as her skates swept gently across the hardwood. 

Jeff pushed in front of her, somehow performing the impressive feat of skating backwards. He caught her attention when she looked up again. “You nervous?”

She nodded vigorously, still flushed. 

The boy chuckled. “You don’t need to worry- I’ve got you! I swear on my skates that I won’t let you fall.”

Seeing his genuine look of joy plastered in his grin eased Hana’s nerves marginally, though she was still skeptical of her own balance. 

Her confidence improved in time as they slowly made their way around the rink. Hana didn’t notice the smirks of her clubmates at hers and Jeff’s clasped palms, moreso worried about an imminent collision with the floor. 

As she fixed her posture a bit straighter, Jeff brightened. They eventually maintained eye-contact; Hana feeling her heart accelerate as he laughed with pride. 

“There you go! See? It’s not so bad once you-”

He spoke too soon. 

Jeff’s back collided with the sidelines, a comically exaggerated ‘oof’ escaping his lungs. Hana squeaked, her feet flailing in different directions as the duo fell to the floor. 

“Ow…” The boy rubbed his elbow, feeling a bruise coming on already. “Shoot, I’m sorry ‘bout that, Hana- you okay?”

He was met with giggles, a good sign that things were (most likely) okay. 

“Oh, gosh, so much for swearing on your skates-” Hana’s laughter took over, the chuckles spreading in turn to Jeff. A warmth bloomed in his chest- something about the way she laughed made him comfortably nauseous. 

He got up, holding a hand out to help Hana. “As funny as that was, I’d rather we not fall again.”

Jeff laced their fingers together once more, this time remaining side-by-side with the girl. Another giggle escaped Hana, her worries lost in the flurry of giddiness in her heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruh catch me ,, sobbing out here,,, they’re dumb af
> 
> i hope that this is some consolation for whatever shits happening in out of the loop rn,,

**Author's Note:**

> hi friend me on switch i just play splatoon and im really bad at it but uh yeah: SW-7040-0665-8236


End file.
